“Like the top of a newborn baby’s head”
Our week-old grandson Christian’s first full weekend was spent away from home. I picked him up in Tampa to give his young parents a break and to have him meet his grandfather. The ride from Tampa was the longest trip of his seven days of life.
Our 12-year-old twins were ecstatic to have their youngest nephew with us and his Grandpa Kevin was amazed at how lovely the little boy was in his arms. After all, it had been a little more than 12 years since our own kids had come home at that age and about 13 months since our first grandson, JJ, had been a newborn.
Christian seems to have a rich interior life, even though his exterior life involves the predictable eat-sleep-soil-his-diapers cycle. He smiles in his sleep and seems to look at faces intently with his baby blues. He still has the newborn smell of angel kisses on his little head. There’s no other way to describe the sweet powdery scent of a new baby whose soft cheeks nestle against your breast as he sleeps. “Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby’s head,” as Bono put it in U2’s Miracle Drug. The scent is intoxicating to me and will always remind me of the happiness I felt when my four children were young. Now that two are adults who live on their own, our newborn grandson’s soft, fragrant scalp floods us with sweet memories of a time when they were just as tiny.
Even with two adults and two energetic 12-year-olds to tend to his needs, Christian wore us out. Today, I was feeding him at 3:15 a.m. and Kev took the feeding after that about four hours later. Our daughter placed Christian on her chest and both fell asleep until the digital camera’s flash woke them up with a start. I can’t even imagine how managing Christian and his big brother will tire out their parents, who are also full-time college students. One is finishing a degree in elementary education and the other in history, but there will be times when diapers will compete with finals for their full attention. Thank God that our extended family in the Tampa Bay area is nearby to pitch in.
This morning, Christian went to Mass with us. We took over the cry room as a courtesy to the rest of the congregation. During the hour we were at Mass, he needed part of a bottle, a diaper change and some lulling to sleep. He was blessed by our pastor and by the religious sister who is leaving our parish for a mission in the Philippines very soon. As both made the sign of the cross on Christian’s forehead, I offered my own prayers for the baby’s health. He’s so fragile in my arms as he takes his bottle or cries for a fresh diaper.
We are truly blessed to have two beautiful grandsons while we’re still healthy and relatively young. If we take care of ourselves, we could enjoy them for many years to come and watch them as they reach milestones in their lives. Our oldest son, Dylan, graduates from college in a few months, an achievement that my parents are still around to enjoy. I’m looking forward to the time when JJ and Christian will be holding diplomas on a school stage in my lifetime.
I couldn’t imagine having given over the years raising my four children to pursuits as venal as a career or making money. I worked, but also gave up a big part of myself for their well being. Considering the career setback I’ve just come through after losing my job and having to seek employment, the value of living for career advancement only now seems more worthless than ever. I have never felt as successful at a job as I’ve felt raising children who are well adjusted, polite and well mannered.
Our 12-year-old daughter is a caring child who has writing talent. Even though we’re in the same household, she likes to send me emails or leave notes on my writing desk. Earlier this month after she learned I’d been hired at a new job, she emailed me these words:
God really taught us all lesson that, no matter how hard you pray, bad things can happen, so you just have to stay in God and trust he’ll make something happen for us. This long journey has brought us all closer together. These last few months have proved that no matter the circumstances, we’ll still be an awesome family that loves God and each other.
How many preteens in today’s Bratz-sullied, Brittney-flavored, emo goth nihilistic society could write perceptive thoughts like those using perfect spelling and an impressive command of the English language? My happiness and sense of achievement the day I received that note couldn’t have been equalled on the best day ever at a job paying a million dollars a year with my own corner office.
My children and grandchildren have taught me a new measure of success: the secret is to pay it forward and to see the fruits of your own sacrifices in their best moments. Smelling Christian’s newborn head and receiving a loving note from Tally make me feel truly rich and undeniably blessed.
