Praying without full confidence

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 8th, 2009

prayer

“Our Lord wants us to persevere in prayer and not be discouraged because God seems slow in answering our prayers. Perhaps the reason we become discouraged in prayer is that we feel in a vague way that God is not taking us seriously. The truth is that it is not God Who fails to take us seriously when we pray to Him, but rather we fail to take God seriously. Sometimes in our heart of hearts we pray without full confidence that He is going to give us what we ask. I wonder if God is slow in answering our prayers at times in order to perfect the confidence which He wishes us to have in Him who is our Father. Sometimes the reason of God’s delay in answering our prayers is that He wants to make us ready to accept what He desires to give us.”

Father Richard McCullen in Deep Down Things

“Ah! Sun-flower” (William Blake)

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 7th, 2009

sunflower

Ah! Sun-flower, weary of time,
Who countest the steps of the sun;
Seeking after that sweet golden clime
Where the traveller’s journey is done;

Where the Youth pined away with desire,
And the pale virgin shrouded in snow,
Arise from their graves, and aspire
Where my Sun-flower wishes to go!

“Conquer evil with good” (Romans 12:17-21)

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 5th, 2009

cacp

Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Rather, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.” Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

It’s free, easy and saves lives

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 5th, 2009

give-blood

Before Mass this morning, my husband and I donated blood. It was easy, just about painless and took less than half an hour. Each of our pints will make a big difference to three patients in our community, as the phlebotomist told me. It cost us nothing; in fact, we walked out with coupons for two dozen doughnuts and free milkshakes plus two thermal travel cups. Blood banks always sweeten the deal, so to speak, even when you give for reasons other than free snacks.

It was apt that we started our day donating blood before Mass, when we Catholics remember the blood that Christ shed for us. Sitting in a comfortable lounger sipping apple juice while giving a pint of our blood doesn’t compare to the sacrifice of the Lamb, but it gave us the opportunity to reflect on the mystery of the Body and Blood outside of church.

I became a blood donor years ago as a way to conquer my fear of needles, which used to be severe. (When my husband and I had our blood tests before marrying in 1984, I almost passed out as I watched the needle going into his vein. An ammonia capsule brought me back.) By tying in overcoming my phobia with the higher calling of helping others, I was able to reconcile my fears with my desire to do good. I’m still not comfortable with the instant the needle goes in, but I pray and look away to cope. I have since found out that I have “rare blood” with antigens that aren’t common. A message on our answering machine last year urged me to donate immediately because a sickle-cell anemia patient in Puerto Rico who matched my profile needed blood to save his life. Of course, I gave.

Last fall, our 13-year-old daughter was injured in an auto accident and remained in a coma for five weeks. Blood donated by other people who cared helped her recover as their blood replaced what she was losing from collapsed lungs whose fluid drained from tubes for many days. I made a vow during those days that I would never again neglect to give blood each time I was eligible.

I will always picture someone else’s child in an intensive care unit needing a miracle to save his or her life. The pint that I gave today may save a loved one and a grateful family will thank me without ever meeting me. I will always be in debt to the strangers whose donations helped bring back our daughter. I will symbolically be giving for our daughter from now until I am no longer able.

Please consider becoming a blood donor to save lives in your community. The questions can be somewhat embarrassing, yes, and there’s that half-hour or so you’ll have to take into account, but those are negligible reasons not to give, if you’re fit to be a donor. You’ll feel good when you’re done and you will have made a life-or-death difference in the life of one of your fellow human beings.

Being in the world, not of the world

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 3rd, 2009
The Berrigan brothers on the cover of TIME, 1/23/71

The Berrigan brothers on the cover of TIME, 1/23/71

An Irish-born Norbertine monk spelled out the mission of the contemplative to me while we were having dinner at a Catholic retreat center some years ago. The young monk told me how he thought his vocation would take him out of the world to focus on prayer only, but the opposite happened.

People need salvation so much that his presence in public would draw people to him. They would ask him to pray for them or for a loved one. Others would be curious about his habit, his life in the monastery and its rituals. Even when he returned to the monastery, he would be drawn to praying for humanity and its problems. He had taken himself out of the world only to become a part of it in a more significant way, he said.

He discovered, as Thomas Merton did, that the contemplative life can’t help but draw you closer to the world. Long before the Internet and with very limited access to a telephone, Merton stayed in touch with the world. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Daniel and Philip Berrigan and Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hahn made the pilgrimage to this little house on the grounds of the Abbey of Gethsemani. Merton’s cinder-block house is a mile from the monastery which, in itself, is miles from the nearest small town. Merton could not love God without also being involved in the world God created.

Being in the world means caring about the least of our brothers and carrying out the mandate that Jesus gave us to love one another. That’s very different from being of the world, which means giving in to the sins and temptations presented to us every second. We are of the world when we get ours first at the expense of others, when we preserve our egos instead of humbling ourselves before others. As the poet William Wordsworth said, “The world is too much with us.”

Those of the world see easy solutions in judging others and in mocking God. This world is all there is, they will tell you, and we’re deluded fools for knowing that God is alive in us. Charles Darwin becomes their prophet because they claim evolution offers “proof” that God didn’t create the world. They will argue Darwin and atheism to such a degree that those become their gods. The distance from a chimp to their own well reasoned spoken argument becomes very short to them. We share some DNA with chimps, but we don’t share the divine spark of God that makes us fully human. Their decision to deny God comes from the free will He gives us.

St. Francis urged us to always preach the Gospel, and to use words when necessary. Our lives and our actions preach in a more realized way than our empty words if no actions back them up. How many politicians who say they support Christian values have found themselves enmeshed in scandals that showed their words were just lip service? If our lives aren’t truly a prayer, then we can’t call ourselves Christians. Unless true repentance for sins committed and forgiveness for the sinner are in the equation, then we are not acting as Jesus would have us do when he told us to love one another.

We know that Jesus ate with sinners and was criticized by the uber-religious for breaking bread with the less-than perfect. He knew that it’s the sick who need a physician, not those who are well. How many of those sinners did Jesus save just by dining with them? We know that a former tax collector became the Evangelist Matthew and that a woman tortured by demons became Mary Magdalene. Screenwriter Joe Eszterhas made millions from movies that were incredibly raunchy and violent. In his latest work, Crossbearer: A Memoir of Faith, he tells how Jesus brought him back to Himself and changed his life. If there’s hope for the writer of Basic Instinct and Showgirls, isn’t there hope for every sinner?

A holy little priest we knew from parish life some years ago once told a story during a Sunday homily about his experience with sinners. The previous night, he had received a call to minister to a sick parishioner. He drove to an unfamiliar part of town and got lost. It was late at night and the only open store was the Banana Boat, a bar known as a rowdy hangout. He went in to ask for directions and was overwhelmed by bar patrons who wanted him to pray for someone; some even wanted him to hear their confessions. After getting directions, he left the bar to visit the ill parishioner.

With an Irish twinkle in his eye, the priest told us, “Maybe I should minister at the Banana Boat every Saturday night!” We laughed, but perhaps it wasn’t accidental that he ended up there looking for directions. Maybe someone’s life was changed that Saturday night that he walked through those bar doors in his priestly garb.

We all have the opportunity each day to be in the world doing for others as best we can. Sometimes we are so poor or overwhelmed that the best we can do is to send prayers up like incense for someone. We may not have the means to feed someone at that moment or to stop armies from marching, but we can pray. When we are in the world and we are praying for the salvation of others, we are also saving ourselves.

Is Christ “too preachy”?

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 2nd, 2009
Father Corridan was the subject of "Waterfront Priest"

Father Corridan was the subject of "Waterfront Priest"

The great actor Karl Malden died yesterday at 97. During his long career on film, TV and the stage, he created memorable characters. None was as alive as Father Barry, the activist priest in Elia Kazan’s On the Waterfront. (Father Barry’s sermon in the hold of a ship is one of my favorite screen moments. I reproduced his lines here.)

USA Today, that sorry excuse for a newspaper, asked in today’s edition if Father Barry’s sermon is “too preachy for us today.” That’s right:  a great film scene in which a priest talks about the love of God for his people is to be discussed as “too preachy” at a time when people so badly need hope and love. Here’s the selection of Father Barry’s speech presented for discussion:

…You want to know what’s wrong with our waterfront? It’s the love of a lousy buck. It’s making the love of the lousy buck — the cushy job — more important than the love of man! It’s forgettin’ that every fellow down here is your brother in Christ! But remember, Christ is always with you — Christ is in the shape-up. He’s in the hatch. He’s in the union hall. He’s kneeling right here beside Dugan. And He’s saying with all of you, if you do it to the least of mine, you do it to me! …

Preachy or the kind of preaching the world really needs right now? The screen Father Barry was based on Father John Corridan, a real Jesuit priest who took on mob corruption as part of his pro-labor work on the waterfront. The article added one of the real priest’s sermons as comparison:

Karl2x-blog200 I suppose some people would smirk at the thought of Christ in the shape-up. It is about as absurd as the fact that He carried carpenter’s tools in His hands and earned His bread by the sweat of His brow. As absurd as the fact that Christ redeemed all men irrespective of their race, color, or station in life. It can be absurd only to those of whom Christ has said, ‘Having eyes, they see not; and having ears, they hear not.’ Because they don’t want to see or hear. Christ also said, ‘If you do it to the least of mine, you do it to me.’ So Christ is in the shape-up.

I don’t know about you but, if I could find a Catholic church where I could hear a homily like that, I’d be there in a second. Too preachy? Not unless the word of God is too preachy. When you consider what Hollywood offers us, a film that expresses God’s love may strike used to seeing profanity, sex and gore as “too preachy.” That’s their problem, and not ours. It’s no wonder I watch On the Waterfront every few months or so instead of going to the movies these days.

50 years after the Cuban Revolution

Posted by writeforgod on Jul 1st, 2009
Men shot by a firing squad in the Cuban province of Santa Clara, 1959

Men shot by a firing squad in the Cuban province of Santa Clara, 1959

I was 18 months old when Fidel Castro and his pseudo-military followers rode into Havana on tanks on New Year’s Day 1959. My knowledge of those first days comes from family lore and the first-hand accounts I’ve read or seen. My first memories of the regime are from the Bay of Pigs and the Missile Crisis, not from the heady days after Batista was toppled.

By pseudo-military I mean those olive-drab men and women who didn’t belong to the Cuban National Army, but liked the rebel look. Argentine physician Ernesto “Che” Guevara took to the rakish elan of a beret and scruffy beard. Others wore Rosaries around their necks as decorations instead of holding them in their hands to pray.

My mother’s side of the family had several Cuban National Army soldiers, including my grandfather, several great-uncles and a cousin. The spit-and-polish of my grandfather’s khaki officer’s uniform looked nothing like the rumpled olive clothing of the Castro acolytes. My maternal relatives also included police officers, since the military and law enforcement were a way out for poor boys back then, too.

I have found accounts approved by Castro’s censors that mention my grandfather in connection with arrests of  their supporters prior to 1959. He was well known within the ranks and in the area surrounding the military installation he commanded. I’ve met strangers within the exiled community who knew of him. He was an honorable man, as they’ve told me.

I never knew my maternal grandfather because he was shot by a firing squad within weeks of that New Year’s Day that began with such hope for many and ended in tragedy for many others, too. I had heard the family stories of his being placed in a cage suitable for animals and then taken out and shot without his family’s knowledge.

The sadness and the anger over his loss colored much of my childhood, but there was more to come. My mother’s first cousin, another military officer, would meet the same fate later that year in September. My uncle would return with the exiles who took part in the failure of the Bay of Pigs. He spent months in one of the harshest prisons in this hemisphere, the 18th century colonial prison called El Principe. Once a week, my mother would visit him posing as a single woman so that she wouldn’t endanger my father’s side of the family.

I thought of my grandfather and cousin this week because I found a Web site listing their names as casualties of the Castro regime. It contained their names and the dates of their deaths. Looking further, I found another page with photos of some of the ad hoc firing squads of those first days in 1959. (There’s video here.) It’s no surprise that I grew up to become a staunch opponent of the death penalty.

There’s much more I could write about how state-sponsored death touched my family, but not now. I do what I can to speak out against the death penalty here and now instead of only looking back.

 Still, 2009 is the 50th anniversary of that horrible year of 1959 when there was euphoria over change promised by a scruffy band of rebels who began by decimating the army and police and then quickly moved to taking over the media, the schools, the churches and commerce until nothing remained out of their reach. Many who had been supporters felt betrayed and lied to when the real aim of the atheistic, Marxist-Leninist regime became clear. By then, it was too late.

Many of the political prisoners who died in Castro’s gulag were originally gung-ho followers who later tried to change the course of his regime, but couldn’t. They became the plantados, the “rooted ones” who didn’t want to be considered common criminals and who had much more in common with the  Irish “blanket men” and Hitler’s red-triangle political camp inmates than with common thieves and murderers. Huber Matos and Eloy Gutierrez Menoyo are two former Castro associates who felt betrayed and were then given long sentences in prison for speaking out.

A courageous physician named Dr. Oscar Elias Biscet is languishing in jail now because he won’t be silenced. He is on Amnesty International’s list of political prisoners, as are thousands in Castro’s vast prison system.

My parents’ generation — those who lived though 1959 and its aftermath — bleed each time some dolt crows about Che Guevara’s mythical status or how “charismatic” Castro is. My Mom and Dad saw their murders close-up and the pain they feel would be the same a Holocaust survivor would feel if he or she were subjected to paens about Hitler’s heroism. The blood shed within their family would rightfully boil. Forgiveness takes more spiritual courage than revenge.

This February 2 marked 50 years since my grandfather’s killing by a firing squad. My mother and her siblings were in their early 20s, but my grandfather also had a new family of little boys who lost their father and had to grow up in the shadow of death. Another little boy was left fatherless when my mother’s cousin was killed by a firing squad later that year in September. My generation grew up with holes in our family history.

I was a young adult when I heard a stranger tell me the full story of how my grandfather was sentenced to death. My mother had filled me in on how his wife had asked him to consider supporting the new regime that January and how he had refused, but a former Cuban army soldier I met in Providence, Rhode Island, decades later had been a witness.

This former soldier was a co-worker in a manufacturing plant where I was a teen working an after-school job to buy my first car. We chatted and asked about each other’s family. He told he had been a soldier and I mentioned that my grandfather had been an officer. He asked me his name and, when I told him, the man turned pale. My grandfather had been his commanding officer, he said.

In rural areas with no police force, the army served as law enforcement, said the soldier. As commander of the military post, my grandfather was the law in the area. The soldier told me that my grandfather had gone home to his wife and little boys one evening and left others in charge. One of his men had arrested a rowdy and thrown him in a cell. The prisoner asked for medical help, but he didn’t receive it. He died because he was a hemophiliac who bled to death from his injuries.

Since my grandfather had failed to support the new regime, he was a fair target for a charge of murder arising from the hemophiliac’s death. The soldiers who had placed the man in the cell were also arrested and charged. My grandfather’s former driver, a low-ranking officer who threw his lot in with Castro, was placed in command of the installation.

After a kangaroo trial typical of the early days of the regime, he was given a short prison term. Late one night, the penalty was arbitrarily changed to death and he was taken out and shot without the family’s knowledge.  

A few years later, his oldest son — my uncle — joined Brigade 2506, the group of exiled Cuban men who were trained by the CIA to invade and who were then abandoned there. My uncle was captured and marched to prison by the gloating Communist regime claiming a victory that was hollow because it was won over men who never had a chance.

A former soldier in my grandfather’s command who had remembered him as an honorable man recognized my uncle and told him not to identify himself. He would be instantly shot with the others they were lining up for the firing squad, he said. My uncle hid under a false name similar to his own; a prison beard helped hide his features.

An author who has written a book about the Bay of Pigs debacle and the prisoner exchange that followed told me that my uncle was the only person identified under two different names: He had a phony name on the Cuban list of the captured and his real name on the American list.

He was later in the group ransomed by the Cuban government for money, medicines and food. I was a child in Havana when a  flood of peanut butter appeared in our government-rationed food stores. Apparently the product was so unknown a staple in Cuba that the Marxists in the government didn’t want it and had passed it to the people. There aren’t too many times that I see a jar of Skippy on a supermarket shelf without remembering those days.

Fifty years after my grandfather’s death and all the events that followed, the Cuban Marxists are still in power. They will claim that they triumphed over the United States and leftists all over the world will fawn over the Castro brothers. I would disagree with them.

It’s true that we left our home and that our families were split. It’s true that those who were well off lost their interests or their businesses. (My family was working class, so we didn’t have property or commerce to lose.) It’s true that we lost family members to firing squads and jails. It’s true that we Christians had to see our priests and ministers expelled and our beliefs spat upon.

Still, we’ve survived in exile. There are huge Cuban-American communities in several cities in Florida, New York and New Jersey. I have family members from Spain to California who made it out. (I also have some who are still in Cuba; one remains a regime supporter.) We kept our language and renewed our faith from our homes in a new land. Refugees who arrived in Miami recreated former homeland businesses, churches and schools that are  thriving here. Remember that the next time you have a mojito made with Bacardi Rum.

Better yet, have a mojito while you examine the falsehoods that supporters of the Revolution continue to spread — those old canards about free health care and free schooling and all. Those are issues to consider another time, but let’s just say that government-run health care isn’t a big enough draw to prevent young people from boarding homemade rafts to get out of Cuba.

On New Year’s Eve, the old folks would sometimes toast to having the next New Year’s in a free Cuba. My generation and those after may want to see their homeland again, but we are part of the United States, too, and this is home. I don’t think my teenagers would ever consider Cuba home 50 years after my parents’ generation lost it.

In 2009, I’ll be taking spiritual inventory of what has happened since that New Year’s Day in 1959. Today is as good a day to start as any.

This sums up most Hollywood films

Posted by writeforgod on Jun 30th, 2009

mckee

Robert McKee on story design

“It is no accident, if you go back and survey history, that in those periods of enlightenment when people were more civilized than in other periods, the quality of the storytelling was very high. Is there a relationship between empty, banal, false, happy-ending storytelling and crass, uncivil behavior? Absolutely.”

Hollywood story guru Robert McKee, in the Sydney (AU) Morning Herald

A week of prayer

Posted by writeforgod on Jun 29th, 2009
Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal in a scene from her documentary about battling cancer.

Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal in a scene from her documentary about battling cancer.

With apologies to the Grateful Dead, what a long, strange trip it’s been this week.

Michael Jackson’s death was a shock, even though it was evident from news reports that he was in poor health. Still, you don’t expect the passing of someone you grew up with. My birthday is between Michael’s and his brother Marlon’s, so we were all almost the same age. The Jackson 5 were so much a part of my middle-school years that one of their albums was the first I ever bought for myself. Their Christmas album was the first in my collection of holiday music, too.

I would like to think of Michael Jackson as the super-talented little dynamo in this clip and as the monster hitmaker of Thriller instead of as the pathetic soul he became after his trials for child molestation and his endless plastic surgeries. May God rest his soul.

It was also a week when Farrah Fawcett and TV pitchman Billy Mays died. Farrah, the original Charlie’s Angels pin-up, used to stare at us from my brother’s bedroom during the 1970s, when her poster in a red swimsuit was all the rage. Her feathered hair became a cliche and her mile-wide smile was familiar in countless magazine covers. Her acting improved as she stretched her limits and she was actually very good in The Apostle as Robert Duvall’s wife.

I watched a bit of the documentary she made to document her fatal bout with cancer and I was amazed at how brave she seemed to be as she got weaker and weaker.  Anyone who has lost a friend or family member to cancer will identify with the pain and sadness in this program about the ravages of a disease that doesn’t discriminate among the famous or the forgotten. May God grant her peace and eternal rest.

Billy Mays was the commercial king with the booming voice and the Brawny paper towel man physique. We used to laugh at his silly pitches for picture hooks and cleaning products in ads where his voice was louder than a sonic boom. The man seemed made for the mute buttons on our remote controls. He lived in our same small town until recently, when he moved to a more posh part of the Tampa Bay area. He seemed to live and breathe commercial endorsements, but at least he was entertaining — if also loud.

When it was mentioned in our local media that Mays had been hit on the head with luggage from a bad crash landing at Tampa International Airport the day before his death, I was praying that a head injury hadn’t been the cause of death. Our family has suffered two major brain injuries this past year and the world lost Natasha Richardson a similar mishap, so it would have been difficult to see a brain injury take another person. According to today’s autopsy, Mays died of heart disease. May his family be comforted and may he rest in peace.

It’s also been a week when a local arts critic published one of the saddest stories I’ve read recently. The column appeared in The St. Petersburg Times, our hometown daily. It detailed the decline of a former reporter who had lost her job and whose life had disintegrated into homelessness and substance abuse.

My husband pointed out the column because it mentioned that the subject had been a reporter for the Tampa Tribune, where I had covered dance for eight years.  Within a couple of paragraphs, I knew who the anonymous reporter was. I’ve been praying for her recovery since I read the column late last night and I’ve asked other media pros in our area to do the same. I will remember how beautiful she was and how good a reporter she was.  Let’s pray that she can pick up the pieces of her life and find a way to help others through her gifts and her life experiences.

This week, I’ve also heard that a former co-worker lost her husband and was arrested for a crime that I couldn’t help but think was related to her grief. Life can be so beautiful and it can be so harsh — sometimes within the same hour or day.

Sunday’s reading from the Book of Wisdom seemed apropos to explain the reasons I’ve been praying for those I know and those I didn’t know this week:

Because God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living.
For he fashioned all things that they might have being; and the creatures of the world are wholesome, And there is not a destructive drug among them nor any domain of the nether world on earth,
For justice is undying.
For God formed man to be imperishable; the image of his own nature he made him.
But by the envy of the devil, death entered the world, and they who are in his possession experience it.

The afflicted spirit

Posted by writeforgod on Jun 23rd, 2009

“The afflicted spirit is a sacrifice to God.”

St. John of the Cross in The Dark Night of the Soul

St. John of the Cross

St. John of the Cross

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